i ain’t got time for the game

Sorry for that last post. I mean I’m not sorry sorry. I meant what I said. I’m just sorry it was said in the most boring way of all time. I hadn’t eaten in awhile and I was in a very cold and dark place. Would it have killed me to throw in a dick joke or something? Anyway I don’t even know where this is going anymore because Slash is on my TV. That man is alarmingly sexy. But I have to wonder if he ever gets sick of wearing that hat and those sunglasses.

This weekend was great because my boyfriend JP was in town and I ate some shrimp tacos. You know what goes swimmingly with shrimp tacos? A margarita. You know what doesn’t go well with either of these two things? A woman breastfeeding her 10 year old. Nothing good can come out of a child that old being breastfed. That kid is going to grow up and murder someone and never find love and probably like camping. But even if your kid was young enough for breastfeeding to be normal, would it kill you to go to the restroom or your car or somewhere that is not directly in front of where I am eating a taco? It’s not my fault you had  a baby. Why should I have to suffer for your terrible life choices? Would you like it if I blew cigarette smoke in your babies face? Because that’s the same thing.  But don’t worry I won’t because I quit smoking. And also because I can’t afford bail.

Which leads me to my next topic. Destruction. We need to have a reality show exactly like Supermarket Sweep only with destroying hotel rooms. It could be with regular people vs rock stars and it would be great. I have always wanted to do this but haven’t been able to. I am not a rock star and I don’t have money to pay for damages. I just work in an office! The closest I’ve gotten to having a rockstar moment in a hotel was when I fell down in the hallway and stayed there. That was yesterday. Not exactly something that would ever be mentioned on my nonexistent E True Hollywood Story. But a reality show! Man, a  reality show such as this would finally make my dream come true! And since I am suggesting this show, I would also like to suggest that the rock and roll star I am pinned against is Slash and at the end we embrace and there will be a snake at some point, just like in the Patience music video. By the way I am the woman in lingerie. Just so there is no confusion.