i want to be a part of it as long as i don’t get stabbed or remain unemployed for too long

I am moving to New York in May.

I am excited about this for plenty of reasons. There is the pizza, which haunts my dreams. It is culinary nirvana. Then there is the fact that I won’t have to drive.  I realize that people who live  in New York  hate the MTA. I mean, I get it. It smells, it runs by its own  schedule with no regard to yours and when it is crowded there’s a good chance that someone unattractive is going to touch your ass. In many ways, it is like the free workout classes at my gym. But as someone who has never had public transit as a viable option, I am thrilled because I won’t have to get behind a wheel. I hate driving!  I am awful at it. I know a lot of people claim to be bad drivers but I actually hit a girl on a bike one time. I’m serious.

Despite all of the things I’m excited about, I am still nervous.  It’s a big change for me. I have never lived up north. I will be miles and miles away from decent Mexican food, I get cold when it is 70 degrees outside, and I also watch a lot of crime shows which have all taught me that New York is full of people who will try to kill me.  I might be excited about public transit, but that doesn’t mean I am not concerned about being murdered by a crazy person on the train whose umbrella transforms into a sword.

My biggest worry about New York, however, doesn’t even have to do with being murdered in Central Park while jogging, which is apparently extremely common. It has to do with job hunting.

I want to teach yoga, but unfortunately just because you have chosen a career which will let down your parents doesn’t  mean it will be cheap or easy.  It is crazy expensive to go through yoga teacher training and I haven’t won the lottery because I never actually play the lottery. I just feel defeated and I haven’t even begun. I will have to get some other job that probably involves a lot of filing or copy making in the meantime to save money for teacher training and, you know, to pay for shit. I am nervous because this isn’t exactly the best time to look for a job, especially in a city where there are thousands and thousands of people more qualified and experienced than I am. I guess there is no sense in worrying until I get there, and once I do maybe I can  just keep an eye out for taxi drivers who look like the host of Cash Cab. I have an iPhone and you have to look at the road. I’m not scared of your little game!