no thoughts on vday, a brief unwelcome complaint about lent, and a breakfast debate

I had a pretty dope weekend. In case you were wondering, it isn’t 1998 or anything, but I have taken a liking to the word “dope” and feel it should make a comeback. Ever since I saw this interview with Aziz Ansari. I like to say it with the same inflection that he does. Let me just tell you how well that goes over in a social setting. Perhaps some other time.

Anyway. This weekend I flew to New York to continue the ritual of racking up OnePass miles also known as my long-distance relationship. It was Valentines Day weekend and all my other boyfriends were busy so what the hell. I promise I am not going to force my opinion of Valentines Day on you, mostly because you don’t care and also because I don’t really have an opinion on it in the first place. However, I will say that the weekend was low-key and perfect, despite JP running into a knife I was holding (not the same as stabbing) and my drunken confession about using the lotion in the bathroom “on my butt” (not like that) (I just like to moisturize).

Now I’m back in Texas where it is just as cold as New York only there isn’t any snow to look at so I’m just cold and cranky mostly. And apparently Lent is today or tomorrow or sometime soon because everyone on Twitter won’t shut the hell up about it.  I feel the same way about Lent that I do about drinking games: hatred. I don’t like anything that dictates the nature of my addictions and general gluttony. I’m not religious so it doesn’t matter anyway, but I’m cranky remember? I wanted to complain about something.

And now I leave you with a question. JP and I disagree on what makes breakfast….breakfast. JP says that breakfast is the first meal of the day regardless of when you eat it. So, for example, if you wake up at 5pm and eat something, that is breakfast. I disagree. I think breakfast stops being breakfast at 11. Maybe I’ve been brainwashed by fast food chains (serious Whataburger, fuck you for not serving taquitos after 11am) but I think food eaten after 11 is not breakfast. And if you want to eat waffles at 3pm? Well, you are eating a breakfast food, but you aren’t eating breakfast. Ya dig? So, what do you think? Before you make your decision please remember that I have boobs. I just feel like this helps my chances somehow. That and the fact that I am right but nevermind. Now please weigh in on this because I have nothing better to do with my Tuesday evening and this episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians is a rerun.